Dorothy Parker quips:
Sorrow is tranquility remembered in emotion.
This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown aside with great force.
Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses.
Scratch a lover, and find a foe.
There’s a hell of a distance between wise-cracking and wit. Wit has truth in it; wisecracking is merely calisthenics with words.
That woman can speak 18 languages and she can’t say no in any of them.
You can lead a horticulture, but you can’t make her think.
On Katherine Hepburn: She ran the whole gamut of emotions from A to B.
If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.
If all the girls at the Yale prom were laid end to end, I wouldn’t be at all surprised.
Brevity is the soul of lingerie.
They sicken of the calm that know the storm.
*****
Writing…is an act of faith: I believe it’s also an act of hope, the hope that things can be better than they are.
-Margaret Atwood
Sometimes it's a form of love just to talk to somebody that you have nothing in common with and still be fascinated by their presence.
-David Byrne
There will be sex after death, we just won't be able to feel it.
-Lily Tomlin
"To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love. But then one suffers from not loving. Therefore to love is to suffer, not to love is to suffer. To suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy then is to suffer. But suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be unhappy one must love, or love to suffer, or suffer from too much happiness. I hope you're getting this down." - Woody Allen in his film, Love and Death
Writing is like getting married. One should never commit oneself until one is amazed at one’s luck.
-Dame Iris Murdoch
Dreaming permits each and every one of us to be quietly and safely insane every night of our lives.
-Dr. William C. Dement (1928-)
"Hold fast to dreams, for if dreams die, life is a broken winged bird that cannot fly."
-Langston Hughes
If voting changed anything, they’d make it illegal.
-Emma Goldman
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
-Mark Twain
The man who complains about the way the ball bounces is likely the one who dropped it.
-Lou Holtz
It is the province of knowledge to speak, and it is the privilege of wisdom to listen.
-Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.
What good are brains to a man? The only unsettle him.
- P.G. Wodehouse (1881-1975)
Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time.
-George Carlin
Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.
-George Carlin
A happy family is but an earlier heaven.
-George Bernard Shaw
Live the life you have imagined.
-Henry David Thoreau
Patience, noun: A minor form of despair, disguised as a virtue.
-Ambrose Pierce
"Don't go where the path leads. Rather go where there is no path and leave a trail."
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
Time goes, you say? Ah no! Alas, Time stays, we go.
-Henry Austin Dobson
How poor are they that have not patience! What wound did ever heal but by degrees?
-William Shakespeare
Genius is eternal patience.
-Michelangelo
Hope will never be silent.
-Harvey Milk
Adopt the pace of nature: her secret is patience.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us.
-Albert Schweitzer
To educate yourself for the feeling of gratitude means to take nothing for granted, but to always seek out and value the kind that will stand behind the action. Nothing that is done for you is a matter of course. Everything originates in a will for the good, which is directed at you. Train yourself never to put off the word or action for the expression of gratitude.
-Albert Schweitzer
*****
Zsa Zsa Gabor quotes:
A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then he's finished.
How many husbands have I had? You mean apart from my own?
I call everyone 'Darling' because I can't remember their names.
I want a man who's kind and understanding. Is that too much to ask of a millionaire?
I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house.
Conrad Hilton was very generous to me in the divorce settlement. He gave me 5000 Gideon Bibles.
Husbands are like fires - they go out when unattended.
Zsa Zsa Gabor
I know nothing about sex, because I was always married.
Zsa Zsa Gabor
*****
New Year's is a harmless annual institution, of no particular use to anybody save as a scapegoat for promiscuous drunks, and friendly calls and humbug resolutions.
-Mark Twain
Happy is the man with a wife to tell him what to do and a secretary to do it.
-Lord Mancroft
Like most intellectuals, he’s incredibly stupid.
-Glen Close in Dangerous Liaisons
When a true genius appears, you can know him by this sign: That all the dunces are in a confederacy against him!
-Jonathan Swift
-Jonathan Swift
And, "No matter how bad things get, you got to go on living, even if it kills you."
-Sholem Aleichem
We have it in our power to begin the world again.
-Thomas Paine
No matter how bad things get, you got to go on living, even if it kills you.
-Sholem Aleicehm
There is no hope for the fanciful idea of reaching the moon because of insurmountable barriers to escaping the earth's gravity.
Dr. F. R. Moulton, University of Chicago astronomer, 1932.
Dr. F. R. Moulton, University of Chicago astronomer, 1932.
A great painting, or symphony, or play, doesn’t diminish us, but enlarges us, and we, too, want to make our own cry of affirmation to the power of creation behind the universe. This surge of creativity has nothing to do with competition, or degree of talent. When I hear a superb pianist, I can’t wait to get to my own piano, and I play about as well now as I did when I was ten. A great novel, rather than discouraging me, simply makes me want to write. This response on the part of any artist is the need to make incarnate the new awareness we have been granted through the genius of someone else.
-Madeleine L’Engle
The profession of letters is, after all, the only one in which one can make no money without being ridiculous.
-Jules Renard (1864-1910)
Life is a dream for the wise, a game for the fool, a comedy for the rich, a tragedy for the poor.
-Sholem Aleichem
Thoughts be but dreams 'til their effects be tried.
-Shakespeare
By common consent gray hairs are a crown of glory; the only object of respect that can never excite envy.
-George Bancroft
You cannot escape the results of your thoughts. Whatever your present environment may be, you will fall, remain or rise with your thoughts, your vision, your ideal. You will become as small as your controlling desire; as great as your dominant aspiration.
-James Allen
-James Allen
The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.
-Lucille Ball
A laugh’s the wisest, easiest answer to all that’s queer.
-Herman Melville
Your future has nothing to do with getting somewhere you think you need to be. It has to do with the awareness that getting there means being here.
-Carl A. Hammerschlag
You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans.
-George Carlin
I'm sorry I can't be more optimistic, Doctor, but we've got a long road ahead of us. It's like having sex. It's a painstaking and arduous task that seems to go on and on forever, and just when you think things are going your way, nothing happens.
-Lt. Frank Drebin in The Naked Gun
I'm single! I love being single! I haven't had this much sex since I was a Boy Scout leader!
-Lt. Frank Drebin in The Naked Gun
The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
-George Carlin
